5 Secrets of a Swingers Party


A few weeks ago I found myself in a completely unique setting. A Swingers Party. I was invited by a girlfriend of mine and her boyfriend… and even though I had always been curious of the shenanigans that occurred behind these kind of closed doors, I had told everyone (including myself) that I was just there to watch…

Low and behold… 18 minutes into the evening and I was completely naked on a massage table lathered in coconut oil… But that’s not the point of this blog post…

I was faced with many surprises that evening attending my first ever Swingers Party. Here are the top 5 things I never would have believed had I not seen them with my own eyes…

Enjoy the secrets xx

They have a snack bar

This may or may not blow your mind, but when I walked in to the party and was given the initial tour, and shown the area where I could help myself to tea, coffee, Doritos and dip… I had one of those ‘is this real life?!’ moments.

There were fridges throughout the home filled with bottled water and soft drinks and a bar maid named Aunty Jane who promised to take good care of all the BYO booze you could carry.

You can’t say it wasn’t hosted well… but I just wasn’t sure I wanted any Dorito dust on my yoni… I steered well clear.

Partners are kept in the loop

At one point I was asked, ‘would you like to play.’ I quickly learnt this was code for “let’s fuck.” This particular party was well known for their safe sex practices and ethical party-goers. Moments later I was being led through the party house with the man saying, “I just have to let my wife know… follow me!”

We found his wife, and he explained he had asked me to play… she turned to us both and said… “have fun you two!!!!”

Again. Is this real life…

Don’t sit on the orgy bed unless you want to orgy

During my welcome tour I was shown the orgy room. It had 4 double beds all pushed together from the corner of this giant room. The beds were not made with sheets but covered with a plastic material I can only assume would be easy to spray and wipe with bleach at the end of the night…

I was warned… “We are all about ‘no means no’ here… but… if you sit on the orgy bed…”

I heard the warning loud and clear. I didn’t venture into the orgy room (or the mini orgy room, with only two double conjoined beds and a leather hammock swing with wrist and ankle cuffs) for the rest of the night… I was pleased that both these rooms had windows into them, however… so I was able to catch a cheeky glimpse of both rooms in action…

The whole house was kitted out

This house was in the middle of suburbia, neighbours on either side, just a normal family home… from the outside. I knew I was in for something different when the host answered the door in a corset that pushed her bare breasts up and out – and nothing else except for a pair of suspenders.

Upon walking in the house we were given a locker key and led to the locker room, a small room that was fitted out, roof to floor, in giant lockers. The keys were fitted onto bands that you could wear around your wrist, and once de-robed, the key was all you were allowed to take inside.

The first bedroom was a BDSM room, Christian Grey eat your heart out, with a wall full of toys, shackles attached to the bedhead, and a chain you could place across the door which meant “entry by invitation only” – apparently.

The kitchen/living room was fairly untouched, except for a bar counter that had been placed along the breakfast bench to keep Aunty Jane in the kitchen, wearily eyeing everyone’s alcohol stash and topping up the Doritos and dip.

There was a small dark room with two showers, and when you turned the water on, mood lighting would turn on… safe to say I helped myself to a few showers that night… just to see the pretty lights… mostly to see the pretty lights…

Another room was seemingly normal – save for a massive frame cut out along the length of one wall, so curious watchers could stop and look on.

The outdoor area had been thoughtfully covered with a roof, but housed a 12 person hot tub, massage table, mattress and row of couches, to cater for the watchers.

You’ve heard about the two orgy rooms but the most thoughtful room? A small room fitted with an extraction fan called ‘the smokers room’. This room was fitted with tiny lockers, just big enough for your cigarettes, and so you didn’t miss any action whilst taking smoke-o, each wall was fitted with windows… so you could catch all the excitement from the orgy room next door.

Seriously. They had thought of everything.

It takes all sorts

So when I arrived there were men and women of all ages, shapes, colours and sizes. There were women baring all, men in leather collars and chains, high end lingerie and tongue in cheek g-strings with matching bow ties and cuff links. There were couples and singles and threesomes. There was a couple I spoke to that said they only ever play with each other… they just love the environment and get off on being watched.

There were the typical “swingers” who looked as if they hadn’t taken a weekend off since they busted out the fondue set and the fish bowl in the 70’s… There was a man who came by himself, for the first time, without the security blanket of friends…

I chatted to a lovely couple who put on a stage show of BDSM who were talking about the upcoming footy final and how much they enjoy visiting a whole range of swinger’s clubs around Melbourne.

This little community, however mix matched, was so welcoming and so accepting. From the minute I walked in, I was smiled at, welcomed, and felt completely and utterly safe and respected.

Would I go back to a Swinger’s event?… A great question I’ve been asked frequently as I retell of my adventure.

I wouldn’t say I’m pre-booking my ticket to next weekend’s party… but… I can definitely see the attraction to it. The erotic thrill of doing something so taboo and right under the nose of every day suburbia…

Let’s just say I heard whispers of an upcoming under 35’s event… I popped down my name down… purely as an ‘expression of interest’…

I’ll keep you posted on any other secrets I find out, Love Bugs…



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