So, it seems it’s been raining men for me recently…my favourite kind of weather…but when I considered that I’ve not been on the dating apps for several months now, I had to stop and think about ‘why’ this was the case.
The extremely interesting thing though? The calibre of choice was breathtaking. These men who have been crossing my path are attractive, handsome, successful, respectful and *keen*… so… how!?
Luckily for you, after some reflection, I was able to get to the bottom of it… this is how I got here.
Yup. I started with a Holistic Healer over a month ago and it has CHANGED MY LIFE y’all.
A combination of hypnosis, reiki and energy healings and counselling made me aware of some deep seeded issues that I had been completely ignorant of. Issues that are rooted so deep in my subconscious I wasn’t even aware of them. After my first couple of sessions, it became apparent that I had an underlying belief of not being worthy enough of love, and this was showing up in a range of self-sabotaging and wall building ways.
Now. Whether you believe in this style of therapy or not… here’s the thing… there is such thing as the ‘placebo effect’ and so, whether it WORKED or not… I BELIEVED it did…I believe that this therapy brought to my attention various ways I though about myself that were not progressive and helpful to me trying to live my best life…
But you don’t need a healer to work through this process. All you really need, is extreme ownership and honest reflection. Own the fact that *everything* that has happened in your dating life is due to YOU. Your decisions, your walls, the kind of person you attracted and the kind of behaviour to accepted, tolerated or encouraged. It’s gonna hurt. But own it, acknowledge it, and aim to make a change.
So – the change? I started doing my affirmations with a new found enthusiasm, truly believing the words I was saying, and feeling them to my core to nurture myself into collaborating my conscious and subconscious onto the same wave length. Because it’s all well and good to do daily affirmations about being enough and being worthy and being deserving, but if deep down you think you’re a piece of shit, how’s that gonna work out for ya? (Hint: NOT GREAT).
Which moves me to my next point…
Visualisations and Manifestations
For the past couple of months I have been doing The Miracle Morning. A morning ritual of mediation, affirmations, visualisations, exercise, reading and journalling. Even though I had been doing this routine, it was after I begun my Holistic journey that created a new awareness that I truly started doing this ritual with feeling and intention.
Especially the visualisations. I could see it. Each morning I could see myself with my partner. I could feel the gratitude I felt being in his presence. I took joy from the simple things I was manifesting – I wasn’t dressed in labels at Gala events surrounded my celebrities. I was at home, watching TV, snuggled in bed, walking the streets arm in arm with my man. And it wasn’t unusual for tears to run down my cheeks during these visualisations, that’s how intensely I felt the gratitude and joy.
Even when a beautiful love song came on, or when I was on public transport and could zone out, I closed my eyes and visualised. And the biggest feeling I associated with my visualisations and manifestations? Joy, gratitude, thankfulness… the energy behind these words is so powerful. I was imagining the gratitude I would feel when I met him because of all the history that came before him.
You guys know how much I bang on about your gut instincts! It’s *so* important to get in tune with your intuition! A long time a go cave men used their intuition for survival – they only had their gut to tell them if a predator was close, or if food was nearby, or if that baby was truly of their blood. Today we don’t technically need our intuition to survive… but it makes life a fuck-load easier.
Get in tune with your instincts by giving yourself the quiet and calm to listen to it. It’s like a muscle that you can build up at the gym, so don’t give up if at first you get frustrated. And once you have exercised this muscle? You will be able to tell who is genuine, and who you should pursue. Once you have distinguished this, it’s time to *trust* it.
I can tell you, even if you are in touch with your intuition it’s fucking scary. Because it’s forcing you out of your comfort zone to take a risk… it feels like a risk because you’ve been hurt so many times, but your instinct is telling you to leap… so it’s only when you leap that the magic can happen. And it will.
This leads me to point number 4…
Embrace the unknown
Up until now, I have been living in fear of the unknown. Don’t know where I stand with a guy? *SCARY*… I better cut it off now, so I don’t get hurt…
This mentality doesn’t serve anyone. And I refuse to live in this fear anymore.
Ride the magic, and magical things happen… Embrace the unknown, and something different may happen… learn to ride the wave… and see where it takes you… even if you don’t like the final destination, you may see some stunning things on the way.
Believe the best in him, not the worst in him
I have always been the kind of person that has tried to see both sides of each situation. I try and see the best in people, sometimes to my detriment. But this skill is *so* vital when dating… and I think I kind of forgot to apply this little talent of mine somewhere along the line when it comes to dating.
I now choose to see the best in him, not the worst in him. He hasn’t replied for a few hours, maybe he’s been caught up. He cancelled the date, maybe he’s going to reschedule it…
There’s a difference between being a chump and getting strung along, to using all the above points, and listening to your intuition, and pursuing something that feels right, despite a few little hiccups. If you’re not perfect, how can you expect perfection in a partner?
Do it – I dare you
Choose a growth mindset and pursue something that feels real and full of potential… step into the unknown, let your walls down, ride the wave and follow the journey…
Because there, my Queens, is where the magic has happened…
Watch this space… the Bug is feeling the love.