This weekend, I went camping. My extended family goes every year (sans the mums, of course) and dad has been asking me to go for as long as I can remember.
A few weeks ago, when my countdown to move overseas got real, I decided that I would embrace every possible moment I could with family and friends and make the most of every opportunity. Armed with this mentality, I set off to Dargo.
The first night, a car load of us kids arrived quite late; albeit bombarded with texts and phone calls every 10 minutes to ensure we were in fact, in tact, and not rotting away as road kill on the side of the road or at the bottom of a rocky cliff. Frustrating yet adorable; there is no question that we are loved. Tiptoeing into the rickety old cabin and Stefan (sibling number 2 of 3; oldest of my two younger brothers) shows me my room. Flicking the lights on and throwing my bag in I see the sleeping figure of dad (dead to the world, despite the rude obtrusion) in the bottom bunk; saving the adjascent double bed for me. Bless. I actually thought that in my head in that moment; bless him! Getting ready for bed on that first night, I was mentally preparing myself for the hours ahead of snoring and heavy breathing and torturous sleeplessness… all the annoyances that never actually came to fruition… well, not really. Over the two nights there were a couple of false alarms where he would start snoring for a couple of minutes…and I would hold my breath and brace for the onslaught of train-like rumbles… but, on the second or third false alarm, before I allowed myself to get frustrated, I took a breath and smiled in the dark to myself like a little chump, embracing the presence and the breathing of my dad, knowing that next year, there will be moments where I will do anything to hear the sound of my dad’s snoring (see, the whole embracing the moment thing?).
Over the course of the weekend, I found myself soaking it all in and loving every second of our trip. All the moments, the simple, mundane, ordinary moments that I would usually take for granted; I lapped them all up and tried to file them away (neatly, of course), for future reference. I know there are some incredibly amazing times to come; I also know there will be some hard days… especially for such an overly emotional person like myself…
There will be moments I will crave the tiresome yet familiar (and somehow, still hilarious) innate behaviour of Stefan sticking his finger up at me, straight faced, like he did at breakfast when I was trying to take a photo of him (also currently working on building up my phone photo gallery for the lonely nights – not a hard job for a trigger-happy lass like me). This is such a standard photo of my brother.
I know I will miss the laughter that comes from watching Andre, the youngest sibling and black sheep of the family, trying to play footy and not being able to mark or kick a ball if his life depended on it. When Stefan’s not around to steal the thunder with his big mouth, Andre truly shines, and I will miss his witty and quick one liners.
I will miss Kritz’s love; the joy she gives me just by choosing to sit by me, the physical peace I feel when she is by my side or in my presence. The way we can communicate and have a whole conversation just by looking into each others eyes. I will miss someone finishing my sentences, knowing what I want before I do, laughing at my (not so) hilarious jokes and understanding my needs and my mood like no other. She is my rock. She will be the hardest to leave. I wish I could put her in my pocket and smuggle her away with me – plus, she is somewhat of a party animal and an amazing travel buddy…Here we are in our matching thermals… We bought them to match the couch.
I will miss walking in on Stefan’s girlfriend Em on the toilet at least 3 times a week because she’s too lazy to close the door…Thankfully I don’t have a photo of those moments…
And although she wasn’t there over the weekend, I will miss mum’s genuine messages checking that we are all ok; her thoughtfulness to make me my own chicken wrap instead of a roll like everyone else, just because she knows and never fails to forget I am not a fan of bread… These are the small actions, thoughts, forgettable moments that I treasure today. Because these are the simple things I know I will miss the most. Being surrounded by people who know me best, tolerate my worst and make me feel accepted and loved no matter what smart ass comment comes out of their mouth… See Stefan doing up my motorbike boots here? He fricken LOVES me!
On Saturday morning we went for a motorbike ride. After a few rounds solo (let’s be honest it was two rings around the oval; it took me longer to kit up than I spent on the bike), Stef took me on the back of his bike to do a lap of the town. For those that know my brother you will know what I mean when I say he has no fear and is renown for being quite the reckless dare devil (several horrific accidents, surgeries and hospital visits testify to that)… But I felt safer on the back of that bike, even up the almost vertical track, and down the steep cliff face; even when we lost the path and fought our way through scrub and rocks and pot holes and debris… I felt safer on the back of my brother’s bike than anyone should ever feel on the back of a dirt bike going 100 with an intrepid and fearless driver. Here we are below (giving us the good old finger, as usual).
I guess what I’m trying to say here, is that more than Cobbs, more than Magicontrast hair dye in Copper, more than Max Brenner white hot chocolate and my bed and the smell of mum’s cooking… More than all those amazing things, these are the feelings and times I’ll miss the most. Those of safety and security. Of being precious cargo. Of being loved and of giving love. Of peace. Of family. Of sitting around and laughing at the most miniscule thing, or even the story that has been told and laughed at millions of times before this one; I will miss being surrounded by those I love and those who love me… I am lucky to realize I will miss these things – and this is why I embrace them today.
The simple things.
P.S please feel free to leave comments on my blog – Questions, queries or concerns… I would love to hear your feedback. But only if it’s nice; I can’t deal with negativity – I take it to heart, I dwell on it and it makes me feel sad and mum always says if you don’t have nothing nice to say don’t say nothing at all… Thanks for your love! xx