In 2018 we seem to be coming up with new dating terms faster than apple is releasing updates. Is this because we’re getting our creative on? Or is it because there’s so many fuck wits around doing horrendous things on the reg that we need to name them all so we can keep up with with our girlfriend’s drama?
You know about ghosting, and cat fishing. You helped your bestie when she realised she’d be cushioned. You’re down with benching and you’ve realised you’ve been getting bread crumbed since last August (and if you have no idea what the fuck I’m talking about… girl you need to listen to our podcast here!). But have you heard of Gatsbying?
No. I hadn’t either.
Let me enlighten you.
Buckle in bitches. I guarantee you… we are *all* guilty of this one.
Who the fuck is Gatsby and what makes him so great?
For those of you who’ve been living under a rock since the 1920’s and haven’t heard of Gatsby, he is the title character from The Great Gatsby which is book about a bloke named Gatsby who is great. It got turned into a film recently starring Leonardo DiCaprico, who like a fine wine is seemingly getting better with age and yet somehow still manages to resemble the cherub faced heart throb on my Titanic teeshirt circa 1995.
Now Gatsby was in love with this fabulous (though slightly selfish, it turns out) flapper girl and like any good love story, she finds herself with another man. Gatsby throws party after fabulous party, just in the hope of capturing flapper girl’s attention, and wooing her with his greatness. He is fucking miserable, of course – he doesn’t have his woman… but to the outside world, he is living his best life, throwing wild shindig after wild shindig, picking up the bill and never complaining about the cleaning.
It’s plain to see why everyone thought he was great! Who doesn’t love a lavish party with an unlimited bar tab!?
Ok… so what the fuck is Gatsbying and how do you know I do it?
So my lovely love bugs… let me explain it this way.
Ever been crushing on a guy and posted something on social media *specifically* with the intention of him seeing it… and ultimately hitting you back by sliding into your DMs?! Yeh you have! WE’VE ALL DONE IT!
You could be at the pub, alone, drowning your sorrows with your second bottle of pinot, hiding your trackies under the bar table (fuck off, I’m not the only one who does this, surely!!), but you’re gonna round up the people on the next table and film a wild 15 second story of you and ‘your mates’ having the ‘best time ever’ at #thelocal – just in the hopes that old mate will slide into your DM’s with the old ‘lol – having a big night then?’
I’ve done it. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. You’ve done it. You know friends who’ve done it. Posting a suggestive picture, a slightly cheeky caption, creating a whole montage of instagram stories, and checking in every 8.4 seconds to check if *they* have liked/seen/commented on it. This is real life. We all ‘Gatsby.’ In fact… I beg you to show me someone who doesn’t engage in some good old fashioned Gatsbying every now and again…
Guiltyyyyyy… But *why* do we do it?
This may come as a shock to some of you… but I am not a licensed psychologist. I know I give fabulous advice and I have enough life experience to suggest I’ve lived 732 years. But… I’m just a simple girl who learns from her own experience, and those of the people around her, and tries to live her best life.
I don’t know the psychology behind why we do it. Well… I don’t know *exactly* why we do it…
But… If you had a gun to my head, and were asking me to tell you WHY THE FUCK WE DO THIS RIDICULOUSLY ORCHESTRATED THING… and *if* I had to take a well educated guess… well then I would suggest that we all like to elaborate that we live a more fabulous life than we actually do. We want to look like the life of the party, that we’re having fun, that this person would be STUPID not to want to get in amongst our amazing life, right!?
I also think it comes down to playing ‘the game.’ We want to get this person’s attention. We are interested, we want to strike up a conversation – but we certainly don’t want to be too keen… or be the instigator… so instead… we dangle some bait, in the hope that *they* will be the one who can’t resist reaching out to *us*… and sometimes… when the conditions are just so… we get a little nibble…
I could tell you to be a big girl and cut the shit and just send out a message to said crush… but that would make me a hypocrite. I am many things, one of which is a fabulous bitch, but I am not, and never will be, a hypocrite. So yes, *we* probably should be mature and just reach out to those who we wanna engage with. After all, it’s a quicker way of cutting the shit and working out if they truly are into us, as opposed to orchestrating the whole appearance of a night club in our apartment just to appear as if we are having a lit night out… however… where would be the fun in that…?!
You’re fabulous, girlfriend, even Gatsby would think so.