Romance doesn’t have to be dead

I’ve never been what I would describe as ‘a romantic’.

I don’t get swept off my feet by grand gestures, you won’t impress me by brining me to a fancy restaurant, or professing your love for me by shouting it from the rooftop – maybe that’s because I’ve never been shown these kind of traditionally romantic gestures… but then again, maybe not.

But just because I’ve never been led down the hallway by a scattering of rose petals or choked on a piece of jewellery when sipping on some Moet, that doesn’t mean I haven’t been privy to some pretty sweet little gestures in my past. Does romance always have to be dramatic and over the top? I don’t believe so. In fact, some of the most adorable, thoughtful things I’ve been graced with from partners, are the most simple of thoughts, and ultimately the most romantic gestures I’ve ever received.

If you like the *idea* of being romantic, but like me, don’t have a romantic bone in your body, I’ve shared these hot 3 little tips to help you sprinkle a little romance in your every day lives… I reckon you can handle this.

Listen to your partner

This one sounds so ridiculously obvious but you’d be surprised how easy it is to get distracted on your phone, or consumed in The Bachelor; sometimes we are so caught up that we miss the important little things our partners say during conversations. Some of the simplest and easiest romantic gestures come from listening to something your partner says, and acting on it when they least expect it.

This one is especially endearing in the early days of dating. If a guy references my online dating bio during a first date, he always gets extra bonus points. It shows me he’s paid attention and made some effort to make me feel different from the dozens of other girls he has no doubt matched with. Even more bonus points if he picks up on something I said in date one, and uses it on date 2 or 3.

I once mentioned on a first date that I wanted to try the new frozen custard place that had opened up near me. On our second date, the guy surprised me by bringing me to that new custard place that had opened up near me… it sounds so simple, but it makes you feel listened to, and that is super romantic.

Subtle touches

There’s nothing more disgusting than a public display of affection. Even if you struggle to keep your hands off your partner, keep it in your pants til you get home, for the love of God.

But, there is little that is more sensual and romantic than subtle affectionate gestures to remind your partner that you’re there, with them, and you can’t wait to take them home.

I was seeing a guy once who was completely self confident and always the life of the party. When we went out he would be a complete social butterfly, chatting with everyone and making his way around the party. But every so often he would come find me, and gently squeeze my shoulder, or give me a little but pat, just to remind me that he *had* me. It made me feel confident and self-assured in our relationship, and I knew that regardless of who he was talking to, or what about, he was there with *me*.

Resting your hand discreetly on your partner’s leg under the table, or guiding them through a crowd with your hand on the small of their back – these are subtle touches that can often not only spark electricity, but be seen as completely sweet and romantic at the same time.

Small gestures

The most genuine, thoughtful gestures are often the most meaningful or romantic. Offering to cook when your partner has had a hectic day, giving a back rub, sending your partner a message to say you’re thinking of them – these are little thoughts that to me, are far more romantic than grandiose gestures.

I remember when I was dating a guy who worked night shift. He would literally come home as my alarm was going off to get up for work. He would stumble home, utterly exhausted, but before he hopped into bed, he would make me a cup of tea. It sounds so trivial, but it was the most beautiful thing. That same partner used to buy me flowers, just because, or leave me a chocolate on my pillow when I’d had a bad day. He got a bonus at work, and took me into the city for a night at a nice hotel. He would cook my favourite dinners when I was feeling down.

He would laugh in your face if you called him romantic, but for me, he was the most romantic partner I’d ever had. And I loved his thoughtfulness and small gestures more than I would have loved some sickening over the top display of affection. I knew how much he cared for me, because he showed me often how much I was on his mind.

Like I said – I’m definitely not a romantic myself, and have never really been sucked in by overly romantic sentiments. But, I think these little gestures are inexpensive, thoughtful and reassuring to any partner; and to me, that is romance. Kind of like the time I was on the beach in San Sebastian and a guy was reading aloud from a novel as his girlfriend lay on her back, basking in the sun, her arm rested casually on her man’s back… if that’s not romance, I really don’t know what is.

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