The Glitter Bug’s Tantric Journey

Sitting in the car out the front of Fabio’s* house, I felt nervous, excited and shit scared. (Name changed to protect identity of non-Fabio). I had high expectations. I had visions of multiple orgasms, each one more Earth shattering than the last, shivering vibrations and explosions of colour…

As bizarre as it seems… what follows is a true and accurate recount of the events that played out on the morning I went for my first Tantric Massage.

DISCLAIMER: This is an extremely graphic post. Don’t sook about it, I’m not interested in your opinion. I loved it. If you’re excited to get on your high horse and tell me how wrong this all was (or unprofessional) – I suggest you turn back now.


The arrival

Fabio greeted me at the door wearing a sheer linen shirt and a maroon sarong. My first impressions were good. He was a solid man, not overly tall, bald, with enormous deep brown eyes that stared into my soul. I would say he was in his late 40’s or early 50’s. He was handsome, and I immediately felt comfortable. I followed him into a room with a massage bed and a couch. Music was playing, not day spa music, but music with rhythm and soul.

We sat on the couch and as I knew he would, he asked me what had brought me there. Obviously I wanted an orgasm – and curiosity about tantra was killing me. But I told him I struggled to connect with people sexually because I rarely connected with them intellectually first – and this was leaving me unfulfilled by lacklustre sexual encounters (I realised as I was telling him that this completely ‘fabricated’ story was completely legit – go figure). He told me of how he’d helped past and current clients find their inner Goddess by teaching them how their body can feel, and teaching them to expect nothing less from their sexual partners.

This all sounded promising.

He then explained that the only rule for today was no sexual intercourse, and that if I wished, I could touch him while he was touching me. At this point I was a little confused; I thought I was getting a massage by a dude who would get awfully close to my yoni and make me climax by sheer will power (kind of like the flower scene in 40 Days and 40 Nights – damn that scene used to get me going!) – but I’d be lying if I said his little allowance didn’t sent a chill of anticipation through me.

Getting into place

Next thing I know I am being ushered into a bathroom with a towel and a loafer and being told to scrub every inch of my body. He tells me that when I am ready, I should meet him back in the room with just my knickers on, and the towel.

I spend a solid 10 minutes scrubbing down, lifting and shutting compartments to ensure I am squeaky clean. At this point I am still fluttery with excitement, but my fear has evaporated.

I step back into the room and the music has shifted a notch, we’re into some deep rhythmic music, almost tribal, and Fabio has removed his shirt.

He held out his hand, assumedly for the towel, and just like that, I am naked in knickers in front of this stranger.

He helps me on to the bed and asks me to lay face down. With a squirt of oil which seems somewhat foretelling, Fabio’s hands are all over my bare back. And our journey begins.

Loosening up

Fabio starts with a head massage. I am not brave enough to tell him I hate massages – I am scared he will kick me out – but this does’t feel unpleasant, he is playing with my hair and chatting to me about what I do for work. I casually leave out the fact that I write a dating and sex blog. He moves onto my feet and although I don’t really foam out on massages, the combination of his hands and his chat are helping me feel fully at east with what is happening.

I am still laying on my stomach, and it is a moment later that he is standing above my head again, this time a littler closer… in fact he is so close, I can feel his privates smushing against my head as he leans over me to begin massaging my ass. It is at this point I whisper my first ‘what the fuck’ to myself, as I try not to giggle.

His hands feel good. He has lowered my panties just a little to expose my butt cheeks and the oil is letting his hands slide effortlessly up and down my back and around my ass. His hands go right down my sides so that he brushes my side boob, and it sends a little shiver each time he does. At one point, he leans completely over me (penis still on my head – a little firmer than before?) and starts kissing down my back. I am again, surprised, but it is not altogether unpleasant.

Heating up

It is a completely bizarre experience. I can feel my body getting turned on, but it doesn’t feel like real life. I recognise I am in a completely ridiculous scenario, but I am totally enjoying it. At one point, Fabio leans in and kisses me behind my ear, whispering how gorgeous I am, and that he loves my energy.

He moves across to stand to the side – and this is when it first happens.

I can feel what I think is an erect penis (through the sarong) brush against my arm.

A moment later and he is on the other side of me.

Yes, definitely an erect penis. It’s like he is purposefully brushing it past my arm.

By this stage, my knickers are around my ankles, and Fabio’s hands are literally all over, Maroon 5 style, he is reaching through my legs to rub my stomach one minute, before tracing up and down my arms to my toes the next minute. I again think, ‘what the fuck’ as I consider for a moment that he may have had an extra set of arms I hadn’t noticed during our couch chat.

Reaching the peak

He is now getting desperately close to my vajootz. He is circling so close and it’s working me up. He is now standing next to me again and it’s official. He has a massive hard on that’s now resting on my arm. I’m so conflicted; I have a (huge) erect penis on my arm, but I’m confused as to if this should be happening. I am not feeling unsafe, or grossed out, or uncomfortable, but instead the idea of this being completely against the rule book sends a jolt of electricity through me, and just like that… his fingers are on me. In me.

I’m not sure how it happens, but one minute I can feel his boner through his sarong, the next minute I can feel his hot skin directly on mine. His sarong is off and his huge penis is on my open skyward facing palm. It’s unexpected. It’s hot.

And the next thing I know I am exploding… but he keeps going! He keeps touching me and I am wriggling and shaking all over the bed until I finally have to ask him to stop. I am breathless and I am laughing hysterically (thank the lord I didn’t CRY!) at the ridiculousness of what’s just happened.

And then he asks me to roll over onto my back.

Wrapping it up

I roll over onto my back and it’s at that moment I notice he is naked. Totally butt naked. He is huge and erect and he says that he doesn’t always get hard when he does these massages but he loves when he does. I have to stop myself from asking if this appointment is for my pleasure or his. He tells me I have one of the prettiest pussies he’s ever seen, and I am a gorgeous goddess. I laugh and tell him that it’s his job to say that. He points down to his giant shlong and says, ‘does it look like I’m lying?’

He asks if he can sit between my leg and then he is straddling the table with my legs up on his shoulders, massaging my stomach and my breasts as he talks to me and tells me what a Goddess I am, and how this should be my routine every time I am intimate, before sex is even considered.

I don’t think that’s a bad idea.

He tells me of clients who are married, clients who come in and get their partners to watch, clients who pay extra to record themselves. He explains how he offers tantric classes (which I’m totally down for) and he also teaches oral sex (which he is the model for), and it dawns on me that this guy has started a lucrative business of getting women to pay him to get his rocks off.

He tells me at this point, many women are begging him to fuck them. I laugh. He says that before, when he said he does’t have intercourse, that wasn’t all together true. If he has been working with a client for a while, he will have sex with them… I say that we will have to wait and see where this professional relationship leads us…

My analysis of the journey

Overall, this was an amazing experience. Did I orgasm rainbows? No. It wasn’t the most Earth shattering orgasm I’ve ever had… but the whole experience was cheeky and strange and something felt so naughty about it. When I left I literally felt like I had paid a prostitute.

I can see why he has clients that would go back week after week. He was touching every inch of my body, kissing my stretch marks and reminding me what a Goddess I was. Every woman needs to hear these things, and it’s a fact that some will only hear it if they pay for it. I am confident in my body (stretch marks and dimply thighs and all) and know how to use it for my own sexual pleasure… but for those women who haven’t yet come into their own, or who need a gentle reminder of the power of their sex, Fabio is the answer.

Although I was confused as to if I should be flattered or freaked out that he got an erection, Fabio did really make my journey all about me, and reminded me what sex should be like. Lots of touching, and kissing and reminding each other of all the amazing parts of your bodies. And although I genuinely went there to cure my curiosity, Fabio really did what he promised to – and reminded me again how I deserve to be treated between the sheets; like the Goddess I am.

… I may or may not have left a $50 deposit for my next appointment.

You’re fabulous, girlfriend (but get in touch if you need Fabio’s number) xxx

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